Last night I had an epiphany...

It was like my eyes had finally opened after being stuck in the dark for so long. I was outside myself looking at everything and a peace enthralled me for the first time in a long time.

My life has been a roller coaster of highs and lows; more lows than most. For a couple years since I came to realize what I had gone through was in fact abuse it has been a slow road to recovery. Even still I have moments where the pain from the past resurfaces and I don't know if I can handle all the negative emotions. But now I can finally say I am free to move on…from what has happened to me, to let go and dive into the possibilities.

I can’t really explain it without it sounding ridiculous, but it was like my soul was speaking to me. I was talking to myself from another level of consciousness.

I can’t remember what I said exactly, but I do remember some of it, and I will share it with the hope that it can heal others in some way.

It's not your fault, you didn't deserve what happened to you, but don’t let it consume you. You are far greater than you realize. You are extraordinary and no matter how much they hurt you, it is beneath you. They are weak, empty, and grotesque. They saw a light within you that they didn’t have. They couldn’t bare it, so they did everything in their power to try and snuff it out. But they failed, because you survived. You are still here and that light within you can and will only get brighter. But you have to let it go. Let the past be the past and learn to love yourself in every way. You’re not selfish, as they would have you believe, to put yourself first. You have to stop trying to see them as you would like them to be and see them for who they are, they can’t change that and they won’t. You are strong and beautiful in every way. When they lash out at you it’s because they envy you...your kindness, strength, and hope. In order to start healing you have to separate yourself from them. Misery loves company; they feed off of your pain and rage. Ignore their attempts and they will starve. They will do anything to keep you in their grasp, to keep this negative cycle going, don’t give in. just brush it off, accept their malice as their and theirs alone. You don’t have to accept it, stay in the light while they dwell in the dark. They can’t get out of this abyss, but you don’t have to join them. Stay above it, in the clouds. Be at peace with it, you cannot change the past or them, so let it all go. You can and will move on to a better future. The light within you is burning bright, keep going and it will burn forever.

That’s the most of it and simply rewriting it has me crying. These aren’t tears of sorrow, but hope, as well as happiness, because I can finally let go and move on.